Show, Don't Tell

I’m sure a lot of you have heard the writing phrase “show, don’t tell".

It’s commonly used as a tip for writing.

But what does it actually mean?

Well, if you’re wondering, you’re in luck because that is the subject I will be covering today.

What does it mean to “not tell”?

As you probably know, the phrase "show, don't tell" can be applicable to scenes with heavy emotion—or any emotion at all.

Let’s say you’re writing a scene in your book about someone who just lost a relative or friend. How would they feel? Sad? Grief-stricken? Numb?

It really depends on your character and the way they process things.

Anyway, you have to communicate that. So how do you go about that?

You could state their feelings like this:

I leaned against the wall. I was so sad—destroyed from the inside out by the news that my grandma had finally passed on. I was stricken with grief.

Yeah.

It’s lacking a bit in emotion, right?

This is exactly what "don't tell" means.

But what do we want to do instead?

Show.

We want to show the feelings.

How do you show?

Basically, what you want to do is write out both thoughts going through the character's head and actions that will lead your readers to the conclusion that they must be feeling a certain emotion.

Instead of writing "she is sad" or "I am sad", show the readers that they're sad. Write about how they were trembling or how their knees gave out. Maybe talk about the pain that pulsed in their chest as they felt as if their soul was ripped in two. You could even talk about other emotions like grief whooshing through them and contributing to the aching sadness.

For example:

I fell against the wall, my hands shaking as I brought them up to cover my face.

No.

This could not be happening.

I wanted to escape. I needed to escape.

I winced as pain shot through my back and I realized I’d collapsed to the ground, shock coursing through me.

He was gone.

And never coming back.

I keeled over as silent sobs wracked my body, agony slicing through me.

This. This was what grief felt like.

Do you see the difference?

Not once did I write "I felt sad" or "I began grieving". Instead, I showed this character's emotions through their actions and thoughts: their silent sobs and the denial in their mind. Those things showed they were grieving and extremely heartbroken. Yes, at the end the final line was, "This. This was what grief felt like," but that's not telling. That's one of those one-liner, lead ball-like statements used for emphasis and emotion.

This is similar to what I talked about in the post, "How to Make a Reader Cry".

I talked about visualizing feelings, showing the readers what the characters are feeling through actions and thoughts.

If you haven't read that, go ahead and go back through my other posts and find it. It has much more information about putting emotion into your writing.

Other ways "show, don't tell" applies:

With actions, it's often better to describe what's taking place rather than simply stating it happened.

For example:

They broke through the door.

Vs.

Pieces of the door broke away as they pounded against it. After a splintering thump, their face peeked through.

I slid deeper into my hiding place, watching as they stepped over the broken door.

In the second example, I wrote something that would lead you to the conclusion that they broke through the door rather than stating it. This is how you "show, don't tell" with actions.

However, there are some situations where you might want to use a sentence such as, "They broke through the door." This could help add emphasis in an intense scene. It's really up to your judgement.

"Show, don't tell" also applies to describing locations.

Instead of saying the land had a lot of greenery, show it. Show it by talking about how the sweeping trees were a deep emerald, how the rich grass sparkled from the morning dew. Talk about the abundance of prim roses or the way the vines tangled together as if spiders had spun them into a web.

Basically, instead of saying there were a lot of plants, write about different plants and the foliage in a way that leads the reader to the conclusion that there were a lot of plants.

That's all "show, don't tell" is: Using words to lead the reader to the conclusion of whatever you're describing, rather than just stating it.

I hope you all have a better understanding of what the saying "show, don't tell" means. If you have any questions, contact me in the box below.

Happy writing!

-Jocelyn